So, I know this sounds kind of weird, but bear with me.
As a model, sometimes, it’s not ‘cool’ to be pretty. The pretty girls get commercial work and therefore make money, but girls who are described as cool are the ‘weird’ or ‘edgy’ looking girls. It’s common for me to have conversations with models in which we discuss being too commercial or ‘too pretty’ for certain brands we love and want to work with. So it kind of tips a whole outlook on beauty on its head. A lot of the pretty girls want to be weirder, less ‘commercial’, more ‘editorial’. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wish my boobs were smaller, my body was more awkward and angular, my face more androgynous. It made me realise how much beauty really is determined by our environment, the system within which we operate.
I spent 18 years of my life trying to be conventionally ‘pretty’ – big eyes, long eyelashes, no eye bags, nice boobs, smaller circular ears, no pointy corners or gangly awkwardness. Now all of the elements of my body I didn’t like are the ones I’m trying to emphasise to be weirder and get more editorial work. After I left school, my boobs grew, my body took on more of the soft, feminine form that I so longed for, and now I look in the mirror and pray for sharper corners and a flatter chest. It’s kind of hilarious.
Turn off your Instagram notifications. It will change everything! So much time is wasted opening and closing the same image to see how many likes it’s gotten. If you turn off your notifications you eventually forget you’ve just posted something and get on with actually living your life. Now I post a shot, lock my phone and move on. Totally and utterly (depressingly) emancipating.
Backstage hustle, honesty, and a whole lot of popcorn.
I asked a bunch of my friends to tell me about their best/worst moments in modelling, and what their dreams are. Answers are anonymous to keep it real. Introducing the jumbled thoughts of a jumble of models backstage!
Hello friends! Welcome to the home of the brain clutter that surfaces in the idle time of me.
This is where I want to be the realest I can be, unfiltered and true. I hope this can be an outlet of positivity, rather than the narcissistic mess I sometimes feel social media has the tendency to become.
I’m going to be writing some things on here that people might need or want to know about modelling, about travelling, the things I’m passionate about and the things that fascinate me.
I think having a voice, and one that says interesting and important things is a huge gift, so here I am trying to hone mine. Please follow if you want to read the real me: thinking, feeling and exorcising all the mess from my mind. Should be fun! xxxxx
Header image is a photo by @eddieseye of sculpture by @floralsculptures at @saint_cloche gallery.